Tony's drinking problem
by da-lemonlollipop
Summary: As the title says. Tony drinks and sometimes it gets out of hand. Stony.
1. Chapter 1

Tony didn't know what had happened. He was sitting on the floor, his back slumped at the wall. There was some blood around him. Blood on his shirt, blood on his right hand, blood on the shuttered scotch glass. Oh yeah, scotch. He shut his eyes in pain, now it was coming back to him.

_few hours earlier_

Tony was bored. So, so bored. And bored Tony was nothing good. Usually he would just grab some random appliance and add some additional wires, few microprocessors and see what will came out of it. Last time he tinkered with the vacuum cleaner, and upgraded it to the point that instead of just cleaning dirt it was "eating" all kinds of rugs (apparently Tony installed some razors in it) and because of the upgraded engine the thing was freaking fast. Tony was proud, it was simple but fun to watch. He gave it some really loud engine and now it was a like a vacuum cleaner from hell. Of course he forgot to turn it back to a regular one and when the cleaning team came, it gave them all heart attacks. Everybody was panicking as the machine had some AI and after it was done with rugs, it started targeting humans, whirring loudly. Thor threw Mjolnir at the vacuum, smashing it and at the same time stopping. Thor was a hero and Tony, again, got reprimanded. Responsibility talks from Steve were long and boring and he preferred to avoid them. So he thought that he will check on the Internet what people are writing about the Avengers team.

Tony was amused, because they all had some huge fanbases.

Young girls were writing that Natasha is their role-model, some boy started archery lessons to be like Clint, girls were swooning that Thor is a true gentleman and why there are no longer men like that, Bruce was getting some awesome comments, praising him both as Hulk and as a scientist, but what made him laugh was that Captain America, besides all the comments about being a true patriot, had a huge homosexual fan base. Most of the comment were awesome and up lifting, but as always there where some frustrated jerks, but usually they were quickly heckled by other fans.

Then he clicked on his name. He always was a kind of celebrity, although he didn't like to be called like that, so he was used to getting comments. Normally, negative comments were sliding off him like water off duck's back. Normally.

He smiled reading a bunch of comments from young boys how awesome Iron-man suit is and when they will grow up they want to have facial hair exactly like Tony's. He found few comments by teenage girls, that although, he is at their fathers age he is still hot. There were also negative comments from some people who logged in only to insult him. He laughed at those. Eccentric, egoistic, self-centered, shouldn't be on the team. It's not like he heard that for the first time. But what caught his attention were comments about his arc reactor.

_"What the hell is that thing on his chest?!"  
"It's not natural!"  
"Freak!"  
"He should be dead by now!"  
"Abomination!"_

He felt his mouth fell. Not because that he cared, there were always people who hated him, but because those comments were exactly what Tony was thinking of himself. He tried to push those thoughts deep into his subconscious, but reading them he felt again how all his fears and insecurities are emerging. He didn't like this feeling. Tony needed a drink. Now, he must shut down his mind. Befuddle himself to not think.

He rushed out of his workshop and went into the lounge. Took a bottle of scotch out of the cabinet, poured a glass. Without ice, there was no time for it. He gulped the whole glass in one go. And then another one.

_"Freak!"  
"Abomination!"_

No. Shut up, shut up! Another glass. Glass after glass but the voices didn't want to stop. The bottle was empty, he grabbed another one. He didn't care if it was scotch or something else, everything in this cabinet had alcohol in it. He felt the alcohol kicking in. He wobbled on his legs and dropped the glass to the floor. It felt on the soft floor and remain intact, but Tony's movement were getting uncoordinated and he stepped on it. It shuttered under his shoe with a loud noise. No worries, he can get another glass. He tried to pick up the glass but his hands were shaky and he clenched his fist while holding the shard. Tony was numb from the alcohol so he didn't feel any pain, only blood trickling from between his fingers told him that something happened. He opened his fist looking at the shard, which was covered with red at the edges. Tony lift his hand, dropping the shard, to look at the cuts. They were not deep, but he cut his fingertips and bleeding from them was always excessive.

He smiled to himself, knowing that the blood is certainly a proof that despite the piece of metal in his body he is still human. He tried to take a new glass, but when he reached his hand for it he lost his balance. His back hit the wall and he slumped down. His eyes were closing.

It was dark. Dark, but quiet. He heard some noise. _Thump, thump, thump_. A beating. A beating of his own heart. Real human heart. And then it was just pain. He felt a drill going into his chest with a high, shrill sound. He started to scream, it hurt so much. Something cold was planted in his body. Cold, metal, lifeless. He felt it going as deep as to his spine tearing him apart. Tony thought that it will pierce him, and felt few tears rolling down his cheeks, the pain was excruciating. Then it stopped. A familiar light. It didn't hurt any longer. Tony couldn't hear his heart beating any more. He had no heart.

"Tony, Tony!" he knew that voice. It was still dark, Tony didn't like it. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. No, wake-up! He snapped his eyes open, taking a deep breath like if he was saved from drowning, to see Steve's blue eyes.

"It's okay, Tony." he said in a soft tone. He was holding Tony's bleeding hand, which was planted on his arc reactor.

"Let go." Steve said. Tony didn't know what he means, it was he who was holding him. Then he felt that his fingers were around the arc reactor. Because of blood he couldn't get a proper grasp. He shut his eyes with a pained expression, realizing what he was going to do, letting his fingers loose. Tony wanted to pull out the arc reactor. He tried to kill himself.

Steve sighed in relief and took Tony into his arms. The brunet burrowed his head into Captain's shoulders. Steve's skin was soothingly warm. Tony reached out his hand and touched Steve's chest. He left a bloody imprint on his shirt, but Steve didn't care. Tony could feel it under his fingers. _Thump thump thump._Steve's beating heart. Beating a little faster than usual due to the current fright he had caused. Than he touched his arc reactor. Nothing. It was cold.

Steve's closed his eyes, breathing heavily, as he realized what Tony was doing. He placed his hand on a top of his, squeezing it gently.

"You do have a heart." he almost whispered. He held Tony closer to him.

"Don't do this ever again, understand?" Steve said, brushing Tony's hair with his lips.  
"Sorry."

* * *

Because I wanted to do a serie about Tony's drinking problems. Basing on the movies I always thought that Tony just likes to drink, but nope, he is a struggling alcoholic. Huh, he is one messed up cookie..

So, this is my attempt to grasp this subject. Probably I'm not doing anything creative with that, but still wanted to write it.

and it is true, Chris Evans has a huge homosexual fanbase!


	2. Chapter 2

Evening. An luxurious interior, clatter of glasses of champagne, waiters with fancy mini food on silver platers walking around the guest.

And there he was. Standing in the middle of the room, in a suit, holding a glass of scotch, talking to someone very important about some very important stuff, he didn't give a damn, a smile plastered to his face. _Dammit, how he hated that_.

Those parties were fake and Tony despited that. Yes, once he loved them as it was an occasion to show off, get laid and just prove the world that it should be grateful for having the great Tony Stark in it. Now it was a chore, and Tony hated all kind of chores. He payed people to do this stuff for him.

The only thing that kept him sane was the thought that Steve was waiting for him at home. Previously no one waited for him, his standard procedure was to go home with some random girl, have fun, and then forget about it. Now all he wanted was to go back and sit on the couch next to his blonde.

Some bearded guy was talking to him. Tony spaced out in his thoughts, he didn't listen, he just laughed when the other guy laughed and clink glasses in appropriate moments. What he hated about those parties was that everyone pretended that they know each other. Having their names appear in the same article didn't mean that they had known each other since childhood and were best friends since then. But to many, it did.

Only good thing about attending those parties was unlimited alcohol. So Tony drank.

***

Tony was lying in bed, someone leaning over him. He felt a tongue slipping into his mouth, hungrily. He opened his eyes to see a glimpse of blond hair in the darkness. He relaxed. Steve, it must have been him. He didn't remember how he got back, but as long as Steve was next to him everything was fine. The figure wrestled with his belt trying to pull his trousers down. Wait. Something was wrong. He tried to catch the intrusive hand, but it slipped. The hand was smaller than his. Something was definitely wrong.

"Be a good boy, mr. Stark," the voice said in a seductive whisper, again inserting a tongue into his mouth. He saw some long eye lashes and long blonde hair. The girl leaned closer to him, making the kiss deeper, taking his jacket off, unbuttoning his shirt. She slipped her hands under his shirt, digging long nails into his arms, pinning him down. No, it wasn't right. Tony didn't want this. She sat on brunet's hips, holding the rim of her cocktail dress, planning to pull it up. Tony grabbed her wrist.

"Don't," he mumbled. The alcohol was buzzing in his head.  
"What's the matter, Tony? I know you want this," she said in a low whisper, getting free from his grip. Her dress was half way up.

"DON'T!" Tony bolted out of the bed, causing the girl fell on the soft sheets.

"What's the hell wrong with you?!" she shouted.  
"Get out," Tony grunted, barely standing.  
"Excuse me?"  
"GET OUT! Here," he said struggling to take his wallet out of his pocket and threw it to the girl, "Take a cab and go home" he said, turning his gaze away from her.

She looked in shock at Tony. Next she run out of the room, grabbing her high heels on her way.

Tony was breathing heavily. What was he doing? Why was he doing that? He sat on the bed, his hands entangled in his hair. He felt nauseous. Than the world went blank.

***

Tony woke up. It was painfully bright, his mouth was dry.

"JARVIS, let down the blinds," he croaked. Nothing.

"JARVIS, I said.." he lifted his head, narrowing eyes from the brightness. He looked around him. It wasn't his room. After he got a bit more adjusted to the new situation, he rushed to the window, stumbling by his own feet. He looked at the view. He draw the curtains with a relief, he still was in New York. Tony leaned against the cool wall, looking at this surroundings. He was in a hotel apartment. Having that set down he was trying to remember what happened. Party. Alcohol. Some girl in his bed. He froze. Cold sweat started to drip down his back. No, no, no, damn no.

With shaking hands he turned the TV on, jumping through the programs for news. And then he found it. A picture taken at night of him embracing the blonde girl.

"_Tony Stark, known also as Iron-man, one of the Avengers, was spotted yesterday at his way from a Gala party to a hotel accompanied by a stunning blonde. Mr. Stark was known from his behavior as a ladies man, but recently stopped his love voyages. Maybe the mysterious blonde was the reason? Who knows, maybe we are looking at the future mrs. Iron-man?_" the reporter ended with knowing a smile.

He felt his heart drop. He was an idiot. The biggest idiot on Earth. Even if Steve didn't saw that, it was surely in the newspapers. He had to go. Tony was collecting his stuff, scattered across the room. Then he spotted some fresh clothes hanging at the wall. There where his. He didn't care from where they come, he took them from the wall and entered the bathroom. Tony brushed his teeth, getting the lasts night taste out of his mouth and started to take off his clothes, planning to put on the fresh ones. There was some different scent on his skin. Alcohol mixed with something heavy, intoxicating. Perfume. The fragrance made him choke. Now he knew he needed a shower.

After the shower he put on the fresh clothes and combed his hair. He looked in the mirror. He looked.. decent, but there was one detail that could give away the hardship of last night. Tony put the sunglasses on his nose and left the room.

He got a few curious glances on the way to the reception, but hotel had too high standards too disturb it's guests. He payed for the room and told the girl behind the desk to call a cab. She informed him that a black limo is already waiting for him. SHIELD. Dammit. He should have known that they already found him and dropped the clothes to not give reporters additional ammo.

He went out and was immediately surrounded by SHIELD's agents who were trying to protect him from reporters. The sound of making pictures, flashes, reporters trying to outshout one another. He felt like throwing up because of all this ruckus. When he heard a question "_Tony, how is mrs. Iron-man?!_" he wanted to turn around and beat the reporter to a pulp, but one of SHIELD's agent grabbed him by the elbow and continue to walk into limo's direction. Tony got in. The limo started to drive. He looked around and saw few newspapers next to him. He took it and saw his stupid, drunk face grinning at the blonde girl from the last night. He crumpled the newspaper and buried his face in his hands.

Tony was taken into Fury's office. The director was fuming at him, but Tony didn't care. He just sat there in silence. He heard some fragments of Fury's speech, like "_disrespect_", "_irresponsible brat_", "_you're not my only problem, Stark!_". Finally he stopped. The quiet-sorry-looking Stark was more annoying that the usual all-know-it Stark. He told him to get the hell out of his sight. Just for once, Tony followed orders.

Next he was taken to the Avengers Tower. It was swarming with news reporter. They had to use an underground entrance. As Tony left the limo he was only thinking about finding Steve. Steve was the best thing that ever happened to him. He couldn't loose him. If he have to, he will fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness. On his way he saw Natasha. She looked at him with disgust. He couldn't blame her. As he passed by her, she stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"You didn't do it, right?" she asked in a harsh voice. Tony didn't know if he should answer. It's not like people believed him. Slowly he shook his head. Her grasp got a bit gentler.

"He is in the kitchen" she said, her voice a bit softer. He didn't say anything, just nodded his head in thanks and turned into the elevator's direction.

Tony entered the room and saw Steve sitting at the table. He lifted his head to look at Tony and send him a tormented grin. Tony noticed that next to him was the damn newspaper.

"Hi," Steve said, his voice filled with pain.

Tony stood next to Steve. The soldier wasn't looking at him any longer.

"Steve.." Tony started, "I swear I didn't.."  
"I know," Steve cut him short.

Tony didn't know how to respond to this.  
"I.. what?" he mumbled.

"I believe you, Tony," Steve said looking at him. His blue eyes were sad, but somehow he managed to smile at him.

Tony didn't fell any better. Now he felt like a trash. He didn't deserve to be with Steve.

Steve stood up from the chair and took Tony's sunglasses off. His eyes were bloodshot due to the hard night and too much alcohol.

"I'm so sorry.." Tony whispered. Steve embraced him gently. After a while Tony wrapped his hands around soldier's waist. He held him like if he was afraid that Steve will disappear if he loosen his grip.

"I have a problem, Steve," he muttered into the blonde's chest.  
"I know you have. But I will help you. You're not alone in this."

* * *

the summary for this part would be like this: Where Tony realizes that by getting drunk he can hurt not only himself.

and I strongly believe that Steve will always believe Tony~

oh, yeah, I tried to find where is SHIELD office but couldn't. So I sticked to the movie version where Stark tower is one building and, I think, that SHIELD's office is somewhere else.

maaaaaaaaan... I'm sleepyy..

one more part to go~!


	3. Chapter 3

Tony was tired. _So freaking tired_. He just left a press conference and was exhausted from answering the same questions over and over again. And he had to kept smiling, even if inside he wanted to scream. Public needed to see him smiling.

He didn't understand how a few years back he used to love it and telling Pepper to call a press conference was like a trip to a candy land. He loved standing at the center of the room, people taking pictures, girls swooning. Nothing changed, except for Tony. But he had to do this. Someone had to be a spokesman for the whole Avengers team and who was better prepared for that than Tony?

Bruce firmly declined taking part in it as he didn't know if he will manage to stay calm (highly unlikely, knowing people this days, the only reason Tony could remain calm was his sarcasm), Thor loved press conferences but didn't know any bounds so it was safer to not let him attend them. Natasha and Clint preferred to stay out of the spotlight. And there was Steve. Steve who didn't know how to deal with modern people who were much more rude, arrogant and didn't had any respect for other people private life. Of course, not all, but those were the kind of people who appeared during press conferences. Steve usually got too nervous and red in the face to answer any questions or got extremely clumsy and knock off the microphone every time he was supposed to give an answer. So it was Tony's job. It wasn't difficult for him to lie that everything is perfectly fine when it wasn't. During the years he had to learn to wear this mask. A mask made of sarcasm, over-confidence and narcissism.

Tony took off his jacket and loosened the tie around his neck. Next, without thinking, he approached his liquor cabinet. He knew the way so well he could get there with his eyes closed. He needed a drink. Just a little. Or maybe more than a little, he wasn't quite sure yet. He reached his hand to grab a familiar rectangular bottle. But what he felt wasn't a bottle. With a surprised look he took out a box of orange juice. He was looking at the juice feeling like a victim to some cruel prank. He needed alcohol. Not freaking juice. He felt blood rushing to his head as anger was taking over him. Any second now and he will chug it to the ground, screaming. Than he saw a stick-note on the side of the box. He took it, his fingers shaking, and read Steve's neat handwriting.

"Tony,  
I love you.  
Steve"

Was all it said. Five words. Including three he needed to hear now the most. He felt his anger subsiding. Now he only felt that a massive headache was coming. Tony sat on the couch and poured himself some juice in an old fashioned glass that was made for drinking scotch. He took a sip. It was sweet, yet tangy. Tony didn't remember when was the last time he drank juice. When he was drinking he felt someone sitting next to him. Next, fingers gently brushing through his dark hair.

"I'm proud of you, Tony" Steve said, almost whispering, not wanting to disturb him.  
Tony put down the glass and sighed heavily.  
"Shut up and kiss me already."

* * *

and that concludes "_Tony's drinking problem_"! Thank you all for your attention!

Originally, this was supposed to be a one shot, and this part was written as the only one, but later one I decided to expand this idea~


End file.
